Sound Monetary Policy

[Recycled from 18:51, 14 December 2004]

I am a member of a small and as of the present not-very-successful barter network called the HOUR Exchange (www.hourexchange.com). In the current issue of their publication, the Hour Trader, they reprint excerpts from R0obert Swann's "Putting Power in its Place" and the E.F. Schumacher Society's "A Place of Local Currency in the World Economy". These essays can be found also at www.smallisbeautiful.org

Essentially, it shows how many of the world's current ills are the result of structural inefficiencies and weaknesses in the current monetary system, which exists mainly to serve the interests of global capital.

Please note, I didn't say global capitalism, or Global Capitalism, or even the globe's capitalists -- I said global capital, and if you don't think *that* is a dangerous beast, you haven't been paying much attention.

There is some wisdom to be found in this composite essay, but I'm afraid I don't care much for the primary solution offered at the conclusion: a "universal" measure of value which would be agreed upon by thousands of local banks and currency boards and which would be based on something objective (gold, kilowatt-hours, sacks of wheat) and which would be extremely stable over the long term.

Problem, is, there obviously is no such thing, and can't be. The price of any commodity, even the most basic, is inevitably going to vary over time, relative to any other commodity. Indeed, relative to every other commodity. Heck, even the relative value of gold to silver is embarrassingly elastic.

The closest we could come to such a stable standard of value would be a universal currency embraced by all the world's banks and national treasuries, perhaps an expansion of the Euro into the "Globo" -- exactly the opposite of the sort of system that Schumacherians would support.

As for me, I think that global capital is indeed a danger to civilization, trapping us in genocidal and ecocidal variations on the Prisoner's Dilemma. But I also think we could control the beast if we chose to, and under control it would provide a reasonably good system for bringing the world together and providing for everyone's needs -- much the way U.S. corporations, restrained by Federal, local, labor group and consumer group power, used to serve the needs of working people.

Which reminds me: before we reform global capital, we need to get our own country back from the drunken bullies. But that's a post for another time.

Also, remind me to tell you about the Gross National Value, the measure nobody is measuring.

Utterly Shameless

I got home after dark tonight, and begged Kathe to put off her bath and come for a walk with me. I'd seen Frozen Burrito Stadium all lit up for some sort of night-time activity and wanted her to see it also. It really was worth the trip to see it.

We got there just in time, too. We went up to the top of the new parking garage and looked the stadium over, and by the time we got back down to street level, they'd turned the lights out.

When we got home and I started looking at news, my mood darkened a bit, too.

George W. Bush, his Education Secretary Margaret Spellings, and Congressional Republicans have found something to sacrifice for the sake of hurricane reconstruction:

Desegregation.

These people are utterly shameless.

But I will say "Shame on them" anyway.

Shame, shame, shame.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "A foolish consistency is a hobgoblin. Consistent evil is a Balrog."\\

Okay, You Did It

You spammers forced me to turn on "word verification". Poop on all of you spammers, and all your bots.

John Needs . . . .

Current mood: If you can't tell my current mood by reading the words below, I have failed at this job.

I saw something amazing tonight, not long after sunset. There was a patch of cloud, part of it covering the lovely crescent Moon, which was made up of straight parallel streaks. And when I say straight, I mean like a ruler, and when I say parallel I mean like furrows in a plowed field.

It was the damnedest thing. Kathe saw it, too. I wish I'd been up in the lookout tower to see it, although in that case it wouldn't have been so unusual, since it would have been imaginary.

I got this from neonnurse, who got it from kip_w, who got it from autopope, who doesn't say where he got it (good thing, or we'd never get to my needs): Google "[YOUR NAME HERE] needs" and let Googlomancy tell you what you need.

"John needs help" -- No, I'm a big boy, and Kathe takes good care of me when I can't take care of myself, and I've also got both parents living, so no, I don't need any additional help.

"John needs a new name" -- No, I don't. I like being John. So there.

"John needs a good home" -- Wrong again. I particularly like the one I've lived in for the last 21 years, and have no intention of leaving. I am seriously beginning to doubt the efficacy of this form of divination.

"John needs to see Almost Famous" -- I might catch it cometime, but I can live without it.

"John needs your bone marrow" -- What . . . on . . . Earth . . . ? Okay, one more miss and I'm going back to the exclusive use of my Magic 8-Ball.

"When spoken to, John needs a few seconds to gather his response" -- Okay, that one's very definitely true, impressively so.

"John needs a way to assign an item's UUID to an attribute" -- Uhhh . . . . Should have quit while I was ahead.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Oh, so now you ask me?"\\

Harriett Miers

Oh, well. Once on the Court, away from Bush's direct daily influence, she will be eager to latch, remora-like, onto some other strong personality and follow his/her lead in all things. Maybe we'll luck out, and she'll attach herself to Ginsburg or Stevens.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Outlook hazy, ask again later."\\

Gross National Value

[Recycled from 18 December 2004]

I first ran into the concept of Gross National Value in Katherine Maclean's novel The Missing Man, where it was called "gross national use value".

GNV is simply the total value of everything (public property, private property, personal property). This idstinguishes it from Gross National Product, which is concerned only with the price paid for things which actually were bought and sold in a given year.

GNV can be calculated quite well by considering the prioces brought by comparable property which is bought and sold each year. It may rise or fall, according to markets and supplies, and it must remain hypothetical (since the price of anything would drop if *all* of it were put on the market), but it can still tell us useful things about what we have and what it's worth.

Note all the things that contribute to GNV that are ignored by GNP, and vice versa: a new pair of shoes that costs $45 and is worn out and has to be replaced in six months adds $90 to the GNP. Shoes bought two years ago for $60 add nothing to GNP, but if they are in good shape will add at least $20 to GNV. Demolishing a Victorian house and putting up an apartment cube adds half a million dollars to GNP, but GNV regards it as a net gain of only $200k, subtracting the value of the old house. Development of greenfield land may be a net GNV loss, while cleaning up a toxic waste site may boost GNV by millions at a cost of a few thousand.

Yes, it's true, GNV is just a made-up number, and decisions based on it will always have to be suspect, but when has that ever stopped us before? At the very least, isn't it time we started choosing our own made-up numbers to worship?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "23 - 56 - 93 - 4"\\

Dear Kinko's

[Recycled from 01:23, 20 December 2004]

First of all, folks, thank you for putting comment cards in your shop. That was considerate and, if I may say, courageous of you.

We do quite a bit of photocopying, and we used to do a lot of it at Kinko's, but all that changed when you started using this "card" system, demanding that we buy prepaid cards, feed them with money, insert them into the machines, take the card to a cash register at the other end of the store and wait for someone to come to take our money, &c., &c.

We were in the other day to photocopy our Christmas letter, because the independent copy shop downtown wasn't open on Sunday. Our experience at your shop reinforced our resolution not to go to Kinko's ever again.

Thank you, Kinko's, for making it easier for us to support locally-owned businesses.

[Update: Still haven't gone back, either.]

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do the right thing."\\

"Affection"?

[Recycled from 01:20, 3 December 2004]

Robert Meyer (or "junkyarddog58", as he seems to like to be called), writes:

"By obliterating the uniqueness and sanctity of marriage, they [gay couples seeking to marry legally] tend to homogenize and trivialize it by celebrating any affectionate relationship in general."

With these words, he seeks to obliterate these couples'love and reduce it to an "affectionate relationship".

Similar language is found in Michael Coren's posting. Incredibly, he writes as a member of an organization called the "Catholic Civil Rights League".

"Affection."

Thus do they demonstrate the truth of the adage that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. It is this chilly indifference which confirms me in my suspicion that Meyers' flinty heart is in the wrong place, and that the renewal of the liberal tradition on which America was founded is of the utmost importance.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "The difference between what you need and what you get depends in large part on how hard you want."\\

My Martian National Anthem

[Recycled from 29 July 2004 and 4 January 2005, because it's good]

(Chorus)
Inch by inch, row by row
Gonna make this garden grow
Work the soil and the snow
'Til we've made it fertile ground
Inch by inch, row by row
God bless these seeds I sow
Mars warm them from below
'Til the rain comes tumblin' down

Digging frost, crushing stone
Gonna make this world our own
Fertilize it with our bones
Put our life into the land
Mirrors shine, comets fall
Mars awakens at our call
Lots of work, but worth it all
For a planet made by hand

(Chorus)

Awful dry, awful cold
And the soil is awful old
Superoxides won't unfold
'Til you talk to them just right
But we endure, we persist
Old Mars just can't resist
Life works like an alchemist
With water, air and light

(Chorus)

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "To do something, you must first believe it is possible."\\

"And I Always Carry a Purse"

Twisty of I Blame the Patriarchy writes with amusing viciousness of teensy handbags.

I remember an article on purses -- big, voluminous, hold-all-you-own purses -- in Ms. magazine, many years ago. It struck a chord with me, as my family were continuingly puzzled by my insistence on carrying my backpack everywhere I went (not considered cool and grown-up back then).

Now, in nursing school, I find it's time to move up to the wheeled variety that's not so much an oversized purse as a smallish handtruck. Oh, well.

Hold Twisty in the Light, folks. She just found out she has breast cancer.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do what you have to."\\

In the Light, Beloved, in the Light

Dear Linda Loaiza:

Planned Parenthood has asked me to send you a message of support, so here goes:

Quakers don't go in much for intercessory prayer, but when they do, the jargon is "I will hold you in the Light."

The joking addition is, "so God can see you better."

No joke, Linda, I will indeed hold you in the Light, in full knowledge that God is not missing a thing.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Remember, God is watching."\\

Gonna Be a Nurse . . . I Think

I will, if going to nurse school and working foll-time doesn't knock me flat.

Let's just see, shall we?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Why not try it and see?"\\

Leonardo Was Not Canadian, But . . . .

[Recycled from 13:01, 27 November 2004]

My lookout tower soars high above the mostly low-lying city of Corvallis, higher even than the County Courthouse downtown (though not as high as the proposed mega-condo that apparently is going to be built down by the riverfront), even higher than some of the Oregon State University buildings up on the hill a few blocks west of me. The lookout would dominate the skyline of the town, except that nobody can see it but me.

Sometimes, climbing the long long ladder to the snug little lookout shelter, I wonder what it would be like to climb aboard an old-fashioned Flash Gordon rocketship:

http://www.arapress.com/aapa.html

What a shame that the real thing was mnever so glamourous-looking.

But that may change, if the da Vinci Project can pull it off:

http://www.davinciproject.com

To the da Vinci Project: Thank you.

[Update, 20 September 2005: They say they're going to do a parachute drop-test of their crew capsule. Not much else in the way of news posted at their site lately.]

///The Magic 8-Bal says, "To travel stylishly is better than to arrive."\\

Myths of the Atomic Age

[Recycled from 13:01, 30 November 2004]

Once a myth is established, it dies hard. And if the truth is extremely painful (the Rape of Nanking, the Holocaust, the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki), the perpetrators and their descendants will cling to it fiercely indeed.

But the truth will out eventually, so long as we keep reminding people that there is a truth:

http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2004/11/28/121331/44

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "No effort is ever wasted."\\

Don't Be So Negative

If you really want to change things, my friend, you need to stop being so negative.

You've made it clear that you don't approve of the policies of the current administration, but you never seem to have any positive suggestions to make.

You won't make any friends for your cause with such relentless negativity.

You really need to lighten up, Comrade Solzhenitsyn.

[Thanks to Sumo Merriment for today's politically correct link.]

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "What? Who said anything about Bush?"\\

I'm From the Sun

[Recycled from 2 December 2004]

You Are From the Sun

Of all your friends, you're the shining star. You're dramatic - loving attention and the spotlight. You're a totally entertainer and the life of the party. Watch out! The Sun can be stubborn, demanding, and flirty. Overall, you're a great leader and great friend. The very best!

What Planet Are You From?

But I suspect that the program ignores the answers to all the questions except "What's your sign?"

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Some questions need answers. Some don't."\\

New Orleaneans Should Rise (by at least several blocks)

Where will the evacuees from New Orleans go? After all, their former homes are ruined, or even still underwater, right?

True. But according to Naomi Klein in The Nation, in the high-and-dry (okay, high-and-kinda-moist) sections of the city, there is vacant housing for a third or more of the people currently living in shelters.

There is a reason those units were vacant, sometimes for years.

And there is a reason why the various schemes for rebuilding the city make no mention of that vacant housing.

Not only that, but it's the same reason that Halliburton and friends prefer their own ideas about how to rebuild.

What could that reason be?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "$"\\

Then Again . . .

. . . sometimes you should compare your opponents to Hitler.

Thanks to Americablog for the link to hatecrime.org (although I was actually there because Kathe sent me a link to a picture of the Divine Wiener of Judgment).

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "What you are looking for is not necessarily what you should be looking at."\\

Save Pasargad

In Iran, they've got a new conservative faith-based initiative: There are ancient ruins at Pasargad that haven't been demolished yet, and the bulldozers are ready to roll.

Charming folks, those right-wing Iranian officeholders.

There's a petition you could sign. And if that doesn't seem like much, well, not signing it is a lot less than that.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Couldn't hurt to try."\\

Cowboy Up

[Recycled from 09:49, 23 November 2004]

The sky is gray and overcast in Corvallis, but there's plenty of light, so the town looks pretty good from up here in the lookout tower. The Benton County Courthouse stands out from its neighbors downtown, to the east of me. To the west are the cranes that are working on the stadium, on the OSU campus. I'm going to miss those cranes when they're gone.

[Note, 18 September 2005: I do miss the cranes, but it's interesting to look over to the west and see the towers of the stadium, and the ranks of windows at their tops, so shrunken by distance that they look like glass brick]

There is a bumper sticker I've seen around town lately that reads "My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys", and shows photos of Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush in cowboy hats.

So far, I've resisted the temptation to put a note on his windshield reading "Apparently, your heroes have always been pretend cowboys -- a Hollywood actor who played in westerns and a New England aristocrat who plays cowboy on forty-day weekends at his Texas ranchette."

Americans have an astonishing appetite for the transparently phony. Hillary Clinton pretending clumsily to follow New York sports teams*. Ollie North pretending to be a simple, honest Marine. Those guys who pretended to have served with John Kerry. The doctor who claimed to have treated John Kerry's wounds. John Kerry . . . .

At this point, a lot of people would bring up actors testifying before Congress on the strength of having played an archaeologist or a primatologist or whatever in a movie, but actually, an actor who has done research for a part probably knows more about the subject than most people.

But I do wonder what people are thinking sometimes. Or maybe I should ask why they aren't.

*[Correction: She was telling the truth. My apologies.]

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Things are often not what they are said to be."\\

Stake It Again

Will Eisner's last published work, The Plot, was his history of the hoax of the Twentieth Century, the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion

Eisner devoted much of his life to promoting sequential-art storytelling, otherwise known as "comics", as an educational tool, as well as a legitimate art form. He also spent quite a few years proving both claims.

Eisner worked on The Plot for some twenty years, and by great good fortune, it was ready for publication when he died last January. He was fascinated by the way the evil book kept on reappearing, in translation after translation, no matter how many times it had been exposed as a forgery, and no matter how much documentation was produced as proof. Still, Eisner devoted his precious time and his valuable talent to the Augean task of spreading the word that the Protocols were a fraud, and now it has been published by W.W. Norton.

Unfortunately, graphic novels such as the Norton hardback are still only published in small editions for a niche market. What The Plot needs, if it is to be effective, is wide distribution, as wide as possible. If The Plot were published by DC or Marvel as a rather thick comic book and given what's still called "newsstand" distribution to grocery stores and K-Marts, it would have at least some chance of having the impact Eisner hoped for.

So how's about you mention that idea to DC and Marvel?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "All you can do is whatever you can do."\\

I Am a Democrat . . . a STRONG Democrat

That's what OKCupid says, according to the poll I linked to from supergee.

I didn't used to be.

I blame the Administration. Those guys are forcing lots of people to extreme and desperate measures, like voting for Kerry.

You are a Social Liberal (81% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (23% permissive) You are best described as a: Strong Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

Thank You, Fellow Humans

Mmmmm, beautiful full Moon tonight. I don't know if it's officially full or a day before -- doesn't matter. The sky is clear and the Moon is round and bright, and it's a good time to be up here in the lookout tower looking down on the silvered rooftops of the city, and up at the brilliant white face of the Lonely Lady.

Wait up for us, lady. We'll be back.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the Coalition of the Willing to Help New Orleans Rebuild In Spite of You-Know-Who:

Fidel Castro

Hugo Chavez

The United Nations

And many others who have been offended and/or harmed, in small ways and large, but are too big to hold that against the innocent victims of disaster.

//The Magic 8-Ball says: "Take what you can get."\\

Never Shake Hands With a War Criminal

Thanks to Majikthize, I learn that Rob of HelpyChalk
faxed the Mayor of Gretna, Lousiana, and got a phone call back, with (as you might expect) disturbing results.

I tend to agree with Steve Gilliard who said the Gretna authorities proved that every country and generation has its war criminals, even if they have no war in which to commit their crimes.

The Mayor has proven his commitment to his town, all right. But now he needs to re-examine his commitment to the state of Louisiana, the United States of America and the human race.

And I salute Rob as a living saint for speaking civilly to the man.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Please rephrase your question."\\

Edgar Hollingsworth Lives

But no thanks to George W. Bush and his Free Election Money Appointees.

This man was supposed to die, but he will live to speak for all the others who did die.

Because Bush and his people let them die.

I'll tell you, sometimes it feels like it's not worth it to ever come down from the lookout tower.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Pray for the dead, fight like hell for the living."\\

Movieplex Fantasy

[Recycled from 5 October 2004]

I walk up to the googolplex box office, buy my ticket, enter. My ticket says "BIJOU" in big letters, and in smaller ones it lists the title of the movie and the date and time the ticket was printed.

I walk past the concession stand, where they are selling popcorn, drinks, candy and DVDs. I walk past the various theater rooms of the plex: the Roxy, the Horus, the Venetian, on my way to the Bijou where my film is showing. Each room has a miniature marquee, with lights and gewgaws, like an old-time movie house, and each one is different. I like the marquee for the Horus, where the "R" in "Horus" is the Egyptian ouadjet or eye-of-Horus glyph. Clever.

Entering the Bijou, I see the walls hung with blue velour curtains, with silver lame fringes. The seats are upholstered in blue, and there are distinctive oval lighting fixtures spaced along them. A pair of elaborately carved pillars flanks the screen, on which is projected a picture of a blue curtain hung with silver ropes.

I know, from previous visits, that if I'd gone into the Roxy I would have found red curtains, art deco lights and gold doodads on the panels at the ends of each row of seats. In the Venetian, I would have found pale blue curtains with gold ropes, and a pair of faux marble statues flanking the screen, and so on.

Well, I think it would be fun if they did it that way. And if it were a chain operation, they could have a Bijou at every plex they build, buy the carved pillars in bulk, &c.

Even without the individualized theater rooms, I will say that the Carmike chain has done pretty well by Corvallis. The place looked pretty good when I went there with Waldy to see _Sky Captain_.

Now if only someone would reopen the Whiteside, the long-shuttered movie palace downtown.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "A wish without action remains a wish."\\

I Want a Tattoo

[Recycled from 01:23, 16 November 2004]

Just sitting up here in the lookout tower thinking that I want a tattoo.

Of course, I doubt that, once started, I will stop with just one.

First, I want the Flash's lightning-bolt emblem on my right deltoid, to represent the energy and focus I need if I am to achieve all the things I would like to.

Second, I want Cheech Wizard, Vaughn Bode's notoriously lazy and self-indulgent sorceror, on my left deltoid (slumped under a tree with a jug of wine), to represent the slothfulness I must always struggle against. Well, most of the time, anyway . . . .

After that, I'm not sure. Probably not a big back piece, because I don't forsee developing a habit of going shirtless, and what's the point if nobody sees it? More likely, more small pieces here and there. None on my hands or face, tho -- more discreet ones, as befits a health-cvare professional.

I still haven't gotten over the former co-worker who was scolded for wearing shorts that revealed his EMT-emblem tattoo. I repeat, an EMT emblem. And this was after 9/11, when emergency service workers were supposedly going to finally get their deserved recognition as heroes walking among us. Humph.

So, what do you want for a tattoo?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "My backpiece is a big figure eight in a circle."\\

Putting it all in Perspective

I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. -- Anne Frank

If she can do it, I can do it.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Or try, anyway."\\

9/11/05

So, how is the Right observing this solemn anniversary?

By whining about the design of the Pennsylvania memorial.

You see, it has a sort of crescent-y shape.

*Shrug*

There are only so many shapes to go around (no pun intended).

The Denver Airport has four wings sticking out in four directions, which had the nutters screaming "Swastika!"

So it's a crescent? So what? The world's full of them. Should we forbid people to look at the night sky?

Oh, and about Allah? Ask any Arabic-speaking Christian, and they'll tell you Jesus is the only begotten son of Allah (al-lah, "the God"). So all those guys heaping disdain on the name of Allah are . . . anti-Christian.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Your first guess was correct."\\

Let the Looting Begin

No, the real looting of New Orleans, by the professionals.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Business as usual."\\

al Qanadah

Will the recent proposal to create sharia (Muslim) law courts in Canada increase the ghettoization of Canadian Muslims, or will it facilitate the development of a Western sharia (just as Islam has adapted to local cultures from Morocco to the Philippines)?

And what will Canadi-Anna, my favorite Canadian conservative, think of it? Something tells me that this is one conservative faith-based initiative she will find herself unable to love, but she's surprised me before.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "If you don't like my answers, try bibliomancy."\\

Non Sequitur

Strange things happen when I climb up here to the lookout tower, contemplate the sky and the landscape, and then go online.

The other day, for instance, someone called Toby Petzold left this mysterious, cryptic comment on a post of mine (which actually had to do with George W. Bush's unseemly behavior in the wake of Hurricane Katrina):

"Look-out tower? Why don't you quit being clever and just say you smoke a little grass?"

As I said, impenetrably cryptic, yet oddly compelling. I'm forced to wonder what point, however tangential, he was trying to make about natural disasters, or inappropriatye levity, or whatever Mr. Petzold's point was.

So, I went to his blog to get his e-mail, but found that it wasn't listed. Unable to find any other way to communicate with him, I posted a comment at the bottom of one of his posts, saying, "Please excuse me for contacting you in this fashion, but I couldn't find your e-mail address. Could you please explain the comment you posted at my blog?" I added my e-mail to make it easier for him.

Unfortunately, Mr. Petzold has some sort of problem with his system. Not long after I posted this, it vanished. Not only that, but it vanished before he had the chance to see it (I know that, because he never replied to it). So I posted another comment, and the same thing happene,d this time within minutes.

It must be an intermittent problem, because I see there are other comments on his blog. Probably Mr. Petzold himself has no idea that he has this problem.

So, I'd like to ask for your help. Please visit Tony Petzold's blog and post a comment asking him to please return to http://john_m_burt.blogspot.com and explain to John what his comment means, or to write to john_m_burt@hotmail.com with his explanation. Explain that you're posting because he seems to be having some sort of problem with his comments function.

I'm sure he'll be grateful for the tip.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't count on it."\\

William H. Rehnquist, 1924-2005

A defender of states' rights, until his own bush was gored.

Bill Whittle isn't a racist. Certainly not:

Only a few minutes ago, I had the delightful opportunity to read the comment of a fellow who said he wished that white, middle-class, racist, conservative cocksuckers like myself could have been herded into the Superdome Concentration Camp to see how much we like it. Absent, of course, was the fundamental truth of what he plainly does not have the eyes or the imagination to see, namely, that if the Superdome had been filled with white, middle-class, racist, conservative cocksuckers like myself, it would not have been a refinery of horror, but rather a citadel of hope and order and restraint and compassion.

Interesting image. Michael Savage inspiring hope. Pat Robertson encouraging assassination of his fellow survivors to restore order. Ruch Limbaugh urging restraint while he rifled through the last of the medical supplies. And of course, George W. Bush, knee deep in foul water with snakes circling him, preaching compassion. Oh, yeah, I'd like to see that.

The Republicans say they're going to hold their next national convention in New Orleans (why not, they pulled the same trick with New York in 2004). Wouldn't it be nice to re-create post-hurricane conditions at their convention venue . . . and lock the doors for a few days?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You're in a bad mood today, aren't you?"\\

Labor's Day

The Teamsters, SEIU, UFCW and UNITE HERE are dropping out of the AFL-CIO. Some are panicking, and some are rejoicing, but if they thought about it, each might be doing the opposite.

Fox News spun it, in their typical class-war fashion, as "The End of Organized Labor?", but I think it's more like "Labor Movement Shows Signs of Life".

The AFL-CIO became immensely powerful by assembling most of the nation's labor unions into a single organization, coming closer than most people ever thought possible to the Wobblies' "One Big Union". Unfortunately, One Big Union wound up as bureaucratic and ineffectual as One Big Phone Company or One Big Anything Else. Big surprise.

Now, though, the split in Big Labor allows for the possibility of an actual Labor Movement, as opposed to a Labor Institution. In other words, a chance for us folks who for the last thirty years have been on the losing side of the class war to start fighting back.

We may hope, anyway.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Go away, I have the day off."\\

Transistorpunk

[Recycled from 14 August 2004]

Awhile back, I encountered the term "dieselpunk", which the coiner defined as fantasy based upon the new technology and cultural obsessions of the period between the world wars.

It made perfect sense to me -- cyberpunk romanticized and exaggerated the hot new technologies of the 1980s. Steampunk is fantasy inspired by the Victorian era's new powers of steam and electricity. And so on.

So: transistorpunk, a style of writing inspired by the hot young technologies of the 1960s. James Bond is a transistorpunk icon.

Transistorpunk. Ask for it by name.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transistorpunk

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "I'm a product of the 1960s, you know."\\

Judgment Call

[Recycled from 21 August 2004]

Pretend that you've never read or heard these words before:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored,
He has loosed the fateful lightening of His terrible swift sword
His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps
I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps
His day is marching on.

I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnish`d rows of steel,
"As ye deal with my contemners, So with you my grace shall deal;"
Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with his heel
Since God is marching on.

He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment-seat
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! be jubilant, my feet!
Our God is marching on.

In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me:
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,
While God is marching on.

Really, if you look at those words objectively . . . they're kind of scary, aren't they?

I thought so when I was nine, and first read the lyrics printed out bright and clear, and I still do.

Tell me the truth: If an invading army entered your city, would you want to hear them singing a song like this?

Wha is it like, really, to face heavily-armed young men who think of themselves as instruments of divine justice?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't ask."\\

The Good News

I can hardly believe it, but Jeff Dubner shared with us the following actual quote, George W. Bush's idea of how to respond to a great disaster:

"The good news is -- and it's hard for some to see it now -- that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch. (Laughter.)"

Ezra Klein proposes a response: "If he can take this lightly, we can play a little game. Using Bush's above quote as inspiration and stylistic template, jump in the time machine and put Bush on the podium after other great disasters and calamities. What does he think about the plague? The sacking of the Temple? The burning of Rome? The defeat of the French? Remember -- all entries have to have Bush coming from the perspective of the afflicted, and all have to be as grossly inappropriate as this one."

Here's my entry:

"The good news is -- and it's hard for some to see it now -- that out of the chaos and waste and corruption and needless bloodshed of this administration is going to come a whole new political paradigm in this country, where cronyism and ideological blindness will no longer dominate the Republican Party -- we've lost our entire credibility -- and no member of my accursed family will ever be nominated as a Republican candidate for dogcatcher. And I'm looking forward to sitting on my porch in Crawford with Jeb and George P. and the twins, talking about the days when we had a future in this party."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "From your lips to Allah's ear."\\

Cindy Sheehan Isn't Going Away

Well, she is, but not away away, the way anti-service-family types would like.

And they're puzzled: why hasn't she gone away?

They ignored her, but Americans kept looking.

They laughed at her, but Americans told them they were being unseemly.

They swiftboated her, and the damn thing sank.

They tried to wait her out, but the fifteen-minute meter seems to be stuck.

Golly, you'd think she had something important to say, that Americans are finally willing to hear.

Or something.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Listen to the small but persistent voice."\\

Girl Scouts Are Getting Dangerous

The Girl Scouts of America are not what they used to be.

The always-concerned Concerned Women for America are deeply concerned.

But, it's worse than they think.

Something must be done.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "What exactly did you have in mind?"\\

That's My Boy

[Recycled from 08:38, 1 August 2004]

"So, you're Tesfaye's foster father?"

"No, I'm his father. He was adopted ."

"But, like, he wasn't born here."

"Right. That's what adoption means."

If I'd had time, I would have gotten out the valuable "adoption glossary" we acquired awhile back:

Natural Child: A child who is not artificial.

Real Parents: Parents who are not imaginary.

Your Own Child: A child who is not someone else's.

Adopted Child: A natural child, with real parents, who is all mine.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Yes, he is."\\

Even Behaviorists Get Sigmoidoscopies

Turns out that the air-inflation hurts way more than the snake. Not much fun in any event.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Nobody avoids a full colonoscopy forever."\\

Word of God

[Recycled from 27 October 2004]

This is posted for Coral ( http://locococo.blogspot.com ).

The Word of God
Lyrics and melody © 1994 by Catherine Faber

From desert cliff and mountaintop we trace the wide design,
Strike-slip fault and overthrust and syn and anticline. . .
We gaze upon creation where erosion makes it known,
And count the countless aeons in the banding of the stone.
Odd, long-vanished creatures and their tracks & shells are found;
Where truth has left its sketches on the slate below the ground.
The patient stone can speak, if we but listen when it talks.
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote the rocks.

There are those who name the stars, who watch the sky by night,
Seeking out the darkest place, to better see the light.
Long ago, when torture broke the remnant of his will,
Galileo recanted, but the Earth is moving still.
High above the mountaintops, where only distance bars,
The truth has left its footprints in the dust between the stars.
We may watch and study or may shudder and deny,
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote the sky.

By stem and root and branch we trace, by feather, fang and fur,
How the living things that are descend from things that were.
The moss, the kelp, the zebrafish, the very mice and flies,
These tiny, humble, wordless things---how shall they tell us lies?
We are kin to beasts; no other answer can we bring.
The truth has left its fingerprints on every living thing.
Remember, should you have to choose between them in the strife,
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote life.

And we who listen to the stars, or walk the dusty grade,
Or break the very atoms down to see how they are made,
Or study cells, or living things, seek truth with open hand.
The profoundest act of worship is to try to understand.
Deep in flower and in flesh, in star and soil and seed,
The truth has left its living word for anyone to read.
So turn and look where best you think the story is unfurled.
Humans wrote the Bible; God wrote the world.


//The Magic 8-Ball says, "It is decidedly so."\\

Marketing For the 21st Century

Would you believe that I obtained the document quoted below from a whistle-blower within a major U.S. corporation?

Would you believe that I got it from the web site of a usually-unimpeachable source?

Would you believe it got it from my wife's son Jake's amusing e-mail service, Flotsam@botteronet.net?

Executive Summary:

Marketing to the traditional 'hot button' market bullets of efficiency and
ecological awareness is no longer effective in the marketplace. Recent
changes in marketplace mindset require an adjustment in marketing
philosophy that will allow for increased margins on traditional commodity
items. Initial trials of the new marketing concepts have proven very
effective, and an overall shift of marketing strategy is necessary for the
company to continue operations.

Problem:

Domestically produced commodity items are no longer cost competetive in
the marketplace. Increased competition from overseas manufacturing is
producing insurmountable pricing pressure on commodity items. Company is
approaching insolvency.

Solution:

Minor cosmetic changes to commodity product manufacturing process.
Re-write marketing material to reflect the change, emphasis on the
'terrorist' application. Increase sale price dramatically to reflect the
new 'terrorist' application.

Results:

Small increase in sales volume, substantial improvement of product
margins. Financial insolvency averted.

Conclusions:

Terrorist hysteria is an effective marketing tool. Properly exploited in
the marketing literature, the terrorist hysteria can breath new financial
life into any product that is no longer producing adaquate margins through
traditional channels.

Future Risk Analysis:

A fundamental shift in marketing strategy brings with it inherent market
risks. The major risk of this conceptual change is that the public mindset
will begin to discard the 'terrorist threat', rendering increased
marketing efforts in this area ineffective. This risk is deemed minimal at
this time, the majority of the expenditures required to maintain the
public mindset are being undertaken by the federal government, with a
virtually unlimited budget for this marketing effort. This paradigm shift
by our company is essentially parasite marketing where our relatively
small marketing budget is being used to leverage the expenditures of the
federal government. This strategy should remain effective for a minimum of
one election cycle, so we should see improvements in the bottom line for
at least the next 10 quarters. The primary risk moving forward is that the
federal government expenditures to promote terrorist hysteria are reduced,
with a resultant loss of marketplace mindset for this strategy. This is a
relatively small risk moving forward, and partially offset by hundreds of
companies such as our own, all focussed on re-working marketing strategies
to promote and extend the terrorist hysteria.

Recommendations: Marketing budget needs to be re-allocated. Television
advertising should only be purchased on networks whose news organizations
properly emphasize the terrorist threat. The same for print media
advertising. The marketing department needs to re-allocate human
resources, emphasis on 'product efficiency' needs to be lowered, with
appropriate staffing reductions. A new team needs to be established to
emphasize the 'security' aspect of the product. A 'threat analyst' should
be hired, and put in charge of this new team, who will be responsible for
producing white papers emphasizing the 'security' aspect of the product,
with particular detail on the 'terrorist' aspect.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Missed it by that much."\\

Worthy of Commemoration

[Recycled from 18:02, 26 November 2004]

The Moon is full tonight. It shines down on Corvallis, making the chilly trip up the ladder to the lookout worthwhile.

From time to time I do a Google search for my own name. Interesting things turn up sometimes, things I've forgotten. Like this post which I made at universetoday.com on 30 September 2003:

"The fifty commemorative quarters, one for each state. being issued by the U.S. Treasury are proving immensely popular. So much so that there is talk of a new series to replace them when the fiftieth coin is issued in 2008.

"I think the best choice for a new series would be NASA mission patches. The designs are attractive, historically important and most of them are more or less circular.

"Mercury, Gemini, Apollo, STS . . . . So few missions total, over forty-odd years. Let's honor the pioneers of space exploration on our currency."

Of course, I also honor the intelligence and courage of the crews of Vostok, Soyuz, Salyut, Shenzhuo, &c., to say nothing of the often-mocked provate space ventures, but since we're talking about U.S. currency here, a little nationalism is inevitable.

There Are Conservatives, and Then . . . .

I really enjoyed finding Canadi-Anna's blog, which reminds me that with all the appalling things neo-cons have done to this country in recent years, it's been a long time since I've encountered a genuine conservative.

Anna is a Canadian who is so conservative that, not only does she want to preserve the authority of the office of Governor-General, not only does she want to keep the ties to the British monarchy, but she even wants to discard the Maple Leaf flag in favor of the old Red Ensign. Now that's conservatism.

Compare with the USAn variety, who tend to be more like this.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it one."\\

Eh? Did You Say "No Child's Left Buttock ". . . ?

Kathe sent me this link about schools (and states) which are demanding that the Feds either withdraw the so-called "No Child Left Behind" law, or else fund it. She adds:

The schools would have so much more of my sympathy if I had not discovered that they will try to declined to do *anything* for which they aren't getting federal money, including the stuff I thought they were getting state and local money to do. Like teach my kids to read.

/The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do the right thing and the money will follow."\\

Linda Loiaza

Pat Robertson is a suppurating pustule on the nation, but he's right about one thing:

Venezuela would be a better place without a certain person.

Robertson is just wrong about which one.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "What kind of question is that?"\\

Let's Face Facts

Conservatives are always going on about how there are absolute standards of right and wrong, rules that must never be broken, universal truths, eternal verities, &c.

Well, of course they're right.

But what they don't seem to understand is that the universal, eternal, absolute standards aren't theirs.

They're ours.

Crispen has a very insightful post at his excellent blog illustrating this simple truth. If only conservatives were able to get the point of what I have just been saying.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "There is a purpose in all things, even though it cannot always be seen immediately."\
[Postscript: The purpose of this, for instance, was to take part in Blog Like a Conservative Day. Nobody seems to have noticed, though.]

Lance and George Go For a Ride

Lance was given instructions before the ride with the C-Student Prince:
Do not pass the president.
Do not force the president.
Be kind.
No talking to the president.

Family Stuff

This morning, I got in the Tercel with Kathe and Waldy and drove to Milwaukie for a Slayton family gathering. Many Slaytons were in attendance, as was a facsimile of the famous Slayton family history of 1898. Kathe's distant cousin Deke Slayton was not there, being deceased, but you can't have everything. I did enjoy meeting several persons who knew the correct way to spell Lucile.

We arrived home to find a message from my cousin Mike, informing me that his mother, my aunt Dorothy Westphal, sister to my father, had died. I reached my brother Tom, my brother David and my parents at the family event they were holding in Roseburg, a joint outing for David and Tom's small children (Kathe and I don't have any more small ones, having started earlier).

Meanwhile, in less wholesome parts of the world, right-wing harpies are trying to wedge open any cracks they can find between Cindy Sheehan and her family, and right-wing necromancers are trying to turn her dead son against her.

Fortunately, my family isn't famous.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Be careful what you wish for."\\

Opening the Virtual Raincoat

From supergee, who got it from kightp and wordweaverlynn:

"Chances are people you don't even know are being introduced to your journal every day, either randomly or through someone else. In addition to recent entries, people can get to know you better by what you posted in the past. With that in mind post a link to your entries on this day exactly three months ago, six months ago, nine months ago, and a year ago. If there was no entry on that day, link the closest date."

Three months ago I was writing in praise of multiculturalist Rudyard Kilpling.

Six months ago, I was observing (as I did again yesterday) on just what a first-rate scoundrel John Negroponte is.

A year ago, I speculated that I had slipped into the world of a cheesy roman a clef in which the Republican attempts to bring down Bill Clinton were being parodied and exaggerated as right-wing efforts to overthrow Veneszuela's Hugo Chaves.

Gee.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't look so surprised."\\

News Updates

* I begin nursing school in late September

* George W. Bush still has no answers to give to Cindy Sheehan

* There are a lot of spiders in and around the house this summer

* The question of who "outed" Valerie Wilson is still open, and whoever did it is still a traitor

* My son Walden is back from his road trip. It's comforting to hear his radio running in his room, behind me. It does seem to be a radio just now, and not his computer playing downloads.

* We still don't know who gave Republican man-date James Guckert a WHite House press pass.

* I'm no longer working 60+ hours a week, but I'm still up there around 50, but I'll have to cut out a lot of that when I start nursing school.

* John Negroponte still works for the White House, and he remains guilty of supporting and encouraging terrorist death squads in Central America in the 1980s.

* The totem poles Kathe and I made for da Vinci Days are apparently going to be displayed at a downtown business to promote the Willamette Valley Community School.

* The election of 1876 was stolen from Samuel Tilden by Rutherford B. Hayes and his supporters. . . .

I Am a Christian Republican Patriot

I am a Christian Republican patriot.

I mock and deride the grief of a gold star mother.

I spit upon the memory of a soldier killed in combat.

I vandalize war memorials.

I knock down crosses.

I literally grind the names of our war dead into the dirt.

In case you had any doubts, now you know for certain what I really am.

I am a Christian Republican patriot.

[Please note: if you are a Christian, a Republican or a patriot who feels this statement does not accurately describe you, then it is up to you to show a different face to the world than your brethren do.]

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You already know the answer to this question."\\

Just Fill the Prescription, Jerk!

"I'm sorry, my conscience simply won't allow me to fill the prescription, or even give it back to you to be filled elsewhere. It's against my beliefs to allow you to --

-- take a drug which might cause abortion, never mind that your doctor says it does nothing of the sort."

-- practice birth control."

-- escape the consequences of your sin by treating your syphilis."

-- relieve the pain following your vasectomy."

-- use insulin when you should be praying for healing from God."

-- save the life of a mixed-race child."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Not everything makes sense."\\

Hero

Emily Lyons is alive.

And kicking.

Kick 'em hard, girlfriend.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Take what you can get."\\

WMD Found in Iraq!

So, Saddam Hussein really did have a huge stockpile of weapons of mass destruction program-related activities, ready to turn them over to terrorists?

Um, no.

In fact, the only reason that somebody was apparently able to begin setting up a chemical-weapons factory to supply terrorists with weapons of mass destruction, is the chaos caused by George W. Bush's invasion of Iraq.

Much as Bush's attack, allegedly intended as a blow against al Qaeda, has resulted in major al Qaeda activity in Iraq.

I'm just grateful that Bush never claimed that invading Iraq would prevent an attack by ten thousand Saturnian flying saucers, or we'd be wrapped in slimy purple tentacles right now.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "The answer is the same as the last time you asked."\\

Never Mind

In a previous post, I spoke of my brother Tom getting divorced. This is the way it was told to me at the time, but it turns out that the situation is actually a good deal more complicated than that and, well, let's just leave it at that, okay?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Mind your own business."\\

"Overhauling America"?

Is the article "The Overhauling of Straight America", allegedly written by Marshall K. Kirk and Erastes Pill, genuine, or a forgery after the fashion of The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?

I have my suspicions, and they are definitely piqued by one source citing no less an authority on veracity and sincerity than Jonathan Swift.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Why ever would you even ask such a question?"\\

Good News From Iraq

According to an article brought to my attention by Vision Circle, it sounds as though some Iraqi really are pulling together with their neighbors to end the chaos and destruction -- in spite rather than because of the U.S. invasion.

Now, Bush says that withdrawing from Iraq now would result in a terrible civil war and the end of Iraq as a nation. Of course, Bush also said that Saddam Hussein was a good buddy of Osama bin Laden and owner of an arsenal of WMDs.

A Funny Way of Showing It

I'm not entirely sure that Operation Yellow Elephant is really proper. Is it fair or honorable to question the patriotism and/or courage of Republicans who claim to support the war, yet decline to take part theirown selves? I'm not sure.

But I am more than sure that the so-called patriots who mock and deride Cindy Sheehan are utterly despicable.

Peter Who?

I just heard George W. Bush on the radio, saying "Laura and I were saddened to hear of the death of Peter Degen -- er, Jennings".

Oops. Almost let slip a little private nickname, did we?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Duh, what did you expect?"\\

Homophobia is wrong

"I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I
wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love."

repost this if you belive homophobia is wrong.

Supergee did, and so did curlygrrl, and naked wrat and max bialystock and the Harechan and Ralesk and Schneelocke and other brave souls too numerous to mention.

Be one.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Outlook not promising."\\

Life Goes On

I haven't been writing about personal stuff, mainly because I've felt pressed for time. It's a lot easier to toss off my reaction to the most outrageous bits of political or cultural humbuggery than it is to talk about things that are happening in my life.

Also, the most noteworthy things have not been very pleasant to relate.

My brother and his wife are getting divorced, and the situation that creates for their two small children is the biggest but not the only bad thing about that.

My aunt Dorothy (Burt) Westphal (not to be confused with my mother, Dorothy [Cook] Burt) is very sick, and her children are gathering at her side in Oakdale, California.

I should have mentioned earlier the good news of the wedding of my cousin Michael Westphal, but I note that I didn't. Oh, well.

Our son Tesfaye (age 19) has moved out of the house and our one remaining kid in residence, Walden (age 16), is currently on a road trip with some older friends, leaving just the two of us. A sneak preview, I suppose. I guess we can live with it.

I go up into the attic to move boxes of comics and other stored things, and I really miss the breezy attic we had while Jake had the roof torn off. Definitely have to get some windows -- openable windows -- up there.

Life is actually relatively unhurried this summer. I wonder if I will blog at all once nursing school starts in September.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Sleep on it."\\

John Roberts is Not Boring

I had been hoping that John Roberts would turn out to be as bland and boring as his name.

Nope.

We're just going to have to take over the country, aren't we?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Go have some milk and cookies and consider the options."\\

Disturbing Products

Disturbing, but funny.

Well, mostly funny.

The headless pregnant torso is really just disturbing.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "I'd rather not talk about it just now."\\

No Right to Privacy?

Does the Constitution contain a right to privacy?

Well, how would you define the word "privacy"?

It seems to me that being secure in your person, papers and possessions against unreasonable search and seizure is a pretty good definition.

So there's your right to privacy: in the 4th Amendment.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You already know the answer to this question."\\

Using the Freeways For Your Blog

Not that I would ever advocate doing anything illegal.

But as it says at http://www.freewayblogger.com, it's not actually clear that it is illegal, at least in some jurisdictions.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Ignorance fo the law is no excuse."\\

Terrorists Who Kill Children

"To the Editor, Corvallis Gazette-Times:

"Gary Hartman ('We lack unity against terrorists', 31 July 2005) says that when he was a boy, 'if the grownups . . . had seen . . . children in schools blown up by terrorists[, t]here would have been a fury unimaginable today!'

"I am reminded of September 15th, 1963, when Addie Mae Collins, Denise McNair, Carole Robertson, and Cynthia Wesley were blown up by terrorists in a classroom in the basement of the Sixteenth Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama. The fury of the grownups was such that it took more than forty years for one of the terrorists to go to prison."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Justice delayed is better than nothing."\\

Al Franken Robbing Orphans

No, not really.

But you wouldn't know it from the way the right-wing bloggers have been smearing it all over the net.

Air America Radio scares them, of course, but Al Franken running for Senate scares them a lot more.

Just one more chance for the right to spit on Paul Wellstone's grave.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't trust everything you hear."\\

Moonbats Fly For Freedom

Arthur D. Hlavaty has created a new icon which liberal moonbats can display with pride.

Are you a moonbat? Check the definition:

Moonbats are crazy people who like the Moon, and bats.

They believe that liberals once landed on the Moon in the culmination of a big-spending liberal scheme, an obvious absurdity since liberal schemes always fail.

They believe that bats are beneficial animals which eat mosquitos, not seeming to realize that bats are blood-sucking hair-tangling monsters.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Fortune favors the prepared mind."\\

I Could Watch This All Day

Like I need any more incentive to sit here at the computer.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Put this matter aside for awhile."\\

Operation Yellow Elephant

It's a legitimate point:

It is their war, so why aren't they fighting it?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Some people have other priorities."\\

Those Darn Swedes

Did the U.S. invade Iraq, at least in part, because Norwegian-American Karl Rove wanted to punish Swede Hans Blix for the Treaty of Kiel?

Umm, well, apparently so.

Damn, this stuff is weirder than I'd thought.

And these people are weirder than I'd thought.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Never underestimate human perversity."\\

Code Pink

Do they have one for boys?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Take your pick."\\

Rick Santorum Has Nothing to Say

Shocking as it seems, it's true: Rick Santorum was asked his opinion and declined to give it.

On a matter concerning someone else's sex life, no less.

What is the world coming to?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Like you have to ask."\\

Don't Look Away (Again)

Please consider visiting Faithful America and signing their petition:

"To President Bush:

"Genocide is taking place in Darfur, Sudan. On September 9, 2004 your Administration rightfully acknowledged this fact, but the U.S. has failed to take sufficient action to stop the violence. Up to 400,000 people have died and 2.5 million have been displaced, their livelihoods and villages destroyed by Sudanese government forces and their proxy militias. We call on you to assert U.S. leadership by taking every step necessary through the United Nations to:

"1)Establish a mandate for an international force to protect civilians

"2) Deploy such a force in support of existing African Union efforts in Darfur

"The United States has a unique capacity and clear obligation to take immediate action. Unless there is an urgent international intervention in Darfur, up to a million people may be dead by the end of this year."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Do what you know is right."\\

Always Low Standards. Always.

Wal-Mart.


Unions.

Oh, for crying out loud.

The anti-union videotape is especially choice.

But best of all is Wal-Mart's incredibly lame response, which seems to have been computer-generated from "generic denial" software. Sort of like Baghdad Bob on Quaaludes.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "There are some things you can always count on."\\

Licentiousness

Arthur D. Hlavaty turned me on to this, and he says he scored it off of Robot Wisdom (although I couldn't find the article there):

It seems that someone has come up with a stunningly novel way to deal with the enormous opium-growing industry in Afghanistan: License it for sale to manufacturers of morphine and other legally-used opiate drugs.

Might call that a free market solution, huh?

But guess who's against it?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Well, duh!"\\

Santorum vs. the School

A lot of folks are unhappy with Senator Rick Santorum because he refuses to pay school tuition for his children as they attend a charter school. The school district argues that Santorum isn't a bona fide resident of the district, and therefore should pay tuition at the out-of-state rate. Santorum counters that he is indeed a resident, and spends so much time out of town because, hey, he's a Sentor and the Senate meets over in this town called Washington.

I yield to no-one in my disdain for the Human Santorum-Blot, but I have to admit, it sure sounds as though the law and reason are on his side.

But don't feel bad, people. Be content with the fact that disputing the school district's bill makes him look churlish, and with the certainty that he will be caught doing something actually illegal eventually.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "I call 'em like I see 'em".\\

Creationism

[Recycled from 5 November 2004]

The biggest objection I've always had to creationism is that I just can't believe that this world we see around us is too orderly, too unified, to be nothing more than a collection of happenstance and coincidence.

[Typo corrected: What I meant to say was, "I can't believe that this world we see around us is nothing more than a collection of happenstance and coincidence. It is too orderly, too unified, for that."]

You have seven bones in your neck. So does a giraffe. So does a pygmy shrew, thought its neckbones are too small to pick up without tweezers. So edoes every mammal. Why? A biologist will say, "All mammals descend from a common ancestor that had seven neckbones. There are patterns everywhere in nature, and those patterns have meaning." A creationist is reduced to shrugging and saying, "God just felt like doing it that way. Just coincidence, nothing more. Any pattern you see is either blind chance or divine whim. If God had so chosen, cats would have six legs and feathers, while dogs had three legs and green leaves."

Actually, creationism strikes me as evidence of Satan at work in the world. Satan loves to create false dilemmas and dichotomies. It sounds exactly like him to whisper in someone's ear, "If the stars are older than the Earth, then there is no God!"

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "A false premise will never lead to a correct conclusion."\\

Celebrating Terrorism

After hearing for years about people so depraved that they actually rejoiced over acts of terrorism, I finally saw some people doing it, right there on Fox News Channel:

BRIAN KILMEADE: And he [British Prime Minister Tony Blair] made the statement, clearly shaken, but clearly determined. This is his second address in the last hour. First to the people of London, and now at the G8 summit, where their topic Number 1 --believe it or not-- was global warming, the second was African aid. And that was the first time since 9-11 when they should know, and they do know now, that terrorism should be Number 1. But it's important for them all to be together. I think that works to our advantage, in the Western world's advantage, for people to experience something like this together, just 500 miles from where the attacks have happened.

STUART VARNEY: It puts the Number 1 issue right back on the front burner right at the point where all these world leaders are meeting. It takes global warming off the front burner. It takes African aid off the front burner. It sticks terrorism and the fight on the war on terror, right up front all over again.

Grinning, heartless bastards.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "You have been looking in the wrong places."\\

Things I Like to Wear

[Recycled from 26 October 2004]

1. The Sweater That Would Not Die. Some 17 or 18 years ago, I bought a tie-dyed thermal shirt off a travelling Deadhead. I loved it. It was the most colorful piece of clothing I'd ever owned. When it stared to wear out, I could *not* find a replacement for it, so I patched it and kept wearing it.

In order to attach the decaying fabric to the patches, I had to sew it down, and the stitches were bound to show, so I used brightly colored yarn and embroidery floss, and made the stitches part of the decoration of the garment. Also, often I had nothing thermal-like to use for a patch except for my worn-out black socks, and I stitched gaudy yarn over the black patches to make them blend in better. And then I started stitching on extra strands just for decoration.

The result is a truly unique work of art, if I do say so myself. I shudder to think how many hundreds of hours of TV-watching and talking-book "reading" have gone into maintaining and advancing this garment (I call it a sweater these days).

It's my celebrity shirt -- it gets me noticed, and being a paunchy middle-aged man with a graying beard, getting smiles and compliments is just fine by me.

2. My red plaid wool shirt (the Wallace tartan, I believe). It's so marvelously warm in cold weather, and it's the second most coilorful thing I own. The top buttonhole is frayed, so I don't use it, and it looks really swell when I wear it with my purple T-shirt.

3. My engineer's cap. I got in the habit of wearing a hat, preferably a cloth cap with a bill, when I was in the Navy, and Kathe really likes the way I look in a hickory-striped trainman's cap, so that's the one I have settled on. These days, I get them made for my weirdly-large head at the Hatterdashery in Seattle. The Hatterdasher himself was in Corvallis for the Fall Festival last month, and I ordered two from him (I was feeling flush that month, and it's always a good feeling to know you have a backup hat in reserve).

4. My Commander USA long-sleeved T-shirt. With a goofy superhero costume printed on it front and back, all I have to do is add Waldy's red leather domino mask and I've got an instant masquerade / Halloween costume.

5. My Sandman Mystery Theatre T-shirt, with the Sandman, in his gas mask and fedora, printed in gray and green on a black T-shirt. I like that one so much that I reserve it for special occasions. I'm very pleased by how it's holding up. I'll be sad when I notice it being more gray than black.

I would like to say I love wearing my black monochrome Chuck Taylors, which are as comfortable as the "white man's moccasins" always are but can pass easily for respectable office-type shoes. Unfortunately, my current pair are so badly worn that even black socks have a hard time concealing the holes that have appeared. I need new shoes. But we're not feeling very flush this month.

[Update: As soon as we were feeling even a small trickle, I bought a couple of pairs ahead. But now I'm starting nursing school, and I need respectable nursely white shoes. I'll have to check around and see what I can stand to wear.]

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Don't be too concerned with outward appearances."\\

Nutrition News (Paraphrased)

Center for Science in the Public Interest: There should be nutritional warning labels on soda pop.

Center for Individual Freedom: Soda labelling is a Commie plot.

CSPI: They would say that; they're a corporate front group.

CIF: What's your point?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Never mind."\\

Thetans What?

The last time I noticed Scientology, "thetans" were different levels of mental function, but nowadays, I find, they are evil spirits come to mess up our lives.

But that's . . . that's Richard Shaver's "deros"! It's the Shaver Hoax all over again, apparently. Wow.

Who would have guessed that the second-dumbest cult ever to come out of science fiction fandom would get a second chance at life via the third-dumbest?

What's the dumbest of all? It's had various names, but currently goes by NMD.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Insufficient data for a meaningful answer at this time."\\

Jake's Here, 2005

Kathe's son Jake has come again, as he did last year, to work on the roof. This time, he's tearing off the north-facing section, letting daylight into the north end of the attic for the first time in my memory, anyhow.

Say, Kathe, any chance we could put a window or two in the northern end of the attic?

Spare Us!

Peter A. Brown
Orlando Sentinel

Mr. Brown:

In your column of July 8th, you begin by asking why, in the four years since 9/11, there has been no terrorist attack in the U.S. equivalent to the bombings in Madrid and London. You start to conclude, correctly enough, "it is impossible to know for certain why something does not occur", but then contradict yourself by declaring "[c]learly . . . the lack of a terrorist incident in the United States since 9-11 . . . stems from U.S. government measures, or terrorists' decision that their self-interest requires them to look elsewhere for targets of opportunity."

No, sorry, this is not at all clear. Much less is it clear, as you try very hard to suggest, that recent history vindicates the U.S.A.P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act of 2001, much less that it retroactively justifies the invasion of Iraq.

To start with, wouldn't such a construal require a vote of thanks and belated apology to Bill Clinton for the policies which prevented the al Qaeda attacks of 1995 and 1999?

Unthinkably yours,

John M. Burt
Corvallis, Oregon"

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "When Hell freezes over."\\

Well, is it?

[Recycled from 13 October 2004]

Is stop-motion animation a form of animation?

How about claymation?

Surely they are. I've never seen anyone to challenge it. But . . .

Is marionette or hand-puppet or silhouette play also animation? It's technology used to create the illusion of life, so I think it is.

Here's another thought: At what point does makeup become puppetry? I suppose that happens when someone standing off-camera works the eyebrows or ears or whatever.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Turn me over and ask again."\\

Imported Drugs

[Recycled from 10 October 2004]

Please note the important thing about the fuss over people ordering drugs from Canada: the administration clearly regards importation as a great and awesome power, meant for corporations and not for the likes of you or me.

If Squibb wanted to import drugs by the zepplin-load from Canada, the FDA would be rolling out the red carpet for them. It's only when an individual wants to take the initiative and take personal responsiblity that they fall afoul of . . . conservatives?

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Je ne crois pas".\\

Bad People Comparing Bush and Hitler

We all know that to compare George W. Bush with Adolf Hitler is a terrible thing to do, and people who treat Bush as though he were Hitler are very bad people. So who are these people?

I submit that the worst offenders in this regard are those people whose support for and adulation of Bush resemble that given by many Germans of the 1930s and '40s to Hitler. People who, for instance, rent billboards declaring Bush "Our Leader", or who say that any criticism of Bush is "treason".

That ain't the American Way.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "False comparisons lead to false conclusions."\\

I Am Not Pro-Abortion

Never have been.

"Pro-choice" is not just an euphemism.

If you don't understand that, there is little chance of any further communication on the subject.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "Try Again Later."\\

Washington: Behind Closed Doors

Conversation at the White House [Reconstruction]:
"The replacement for Justice O'Connor needs to be someone reliable, not a surprise package like Souter."
"Right. We need someone who displays the qualities we value so highly in Justice Thomas."
"Gee, fellas, maybe we should ask Justice Thomas to suggest some names?"
"Um, Mr. President, apparently you don't understand what qualities it is we value in Justice Thomas...."

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "It is Decidedly So, by 5-4."\\

O'Connor's Successor

I really do not want to see another Clarence Thomas on the Supreme Court.

Not even because of the damage that would be done to our country and its laws, but simply for the sake of the Court itself.

Thomas is clearly out of his depth, intellectually and professionally, bumbling his way through the Court's business in a fashion which impairs the dignity of what ought to be the most respectable body in the nation.

We don't need another one of those.

//The Magic 8-Ball says, "What you need is not always what you get."\\